shit craps. my parents just came back with my supper, n my dad knocked the car door off while parking. the prb with him is that he's always starting to move the car even when that person haven get on or off properly yet. hais.

anyways. pissed n pissed with my mom.
conversation:
her: where's ququ? so long haven seen him. hmmm.. ask him to come on monday to move things want?
me: hais. i dont know. i'm not his keeper, u want u call him urself. we arent talking much either.
her: aiyo. quarrel? y quarrel? i treat him like my son leh.
**me thinking**: fcukling, she has gotten so used to him already!
me: i dono, we'r jus not that close already, we werent even that close anyways, n its not quarrel, just not talking.
if u want, i can get other male classmates.
her: stanley ar.
me: ya, if you want a "GODSON", he's the best one, somemore with the same surname as us.

thru-out the whole holiday, she has been asking me, "wher's ququ?, why so long haven seen him?, ask him come la?, ask him help to move house la?"
i've always been lying that he's busy working, recently i changed it to, he's busy clubbing. [i know i m doing him injustice by saying that, cos i know my mom doesnt like clubbing kids. but i jus want her not to rely too much on him]

but she stil wants him. what's so nice about him anyways?

i respect ppl who can make my mom like them, but i hate them too. cos they are my mom's likes. so now u guys get it y i'm constantly easily fcuked up when u uys asked abt ken?! irriatable.

then anyways, this time i didn want to lie to my mom already, so i asked whether he can help, just like what my mom wants,
me:" r u free on monday, labour day?"
ken:" em.. why?"
me:" my mother wants your help."
ken:" em.. haha.. help her? how.. explain details.."
me:" you message her and ask her yourself la. hmmm.. moving things la. you are so dead already, my mother likes you. ha ha ha."
ken:" em.. gif me de time n let me noe.. i muz plan.. haha.."
me:" u know sth, you can just say no, then i will tel her that. then i dont have to lie.nevermind, she says she'l jus ask for your help agn when we fully pack or what."
** no more reply from him **

what i meant by the lie part is that i have been lying to my mom that he's not free n all when i didn even ask him. so if he could jus say no, i can jus lift my head high n say that he says that he is not free.
she at last said that" ask for his help again when we fully packed" when i told her say he needs to plan his time 1st.

my sis said before, its my fault that i'm always giving a casual ok when he wants to come to our house. i'm starting to think so too.

wouldyoujazzwithmeat
12:09 AM

sorry to stanley and all, mother's day isnt on 1 may. hahas.. but i've no idea when's the actual date. but my chinese lunar birthday's on 1st april, which is this friday. my godmom remind me last night when we went to their house.anyways, i went suntanning ferr 2 days, and guess what? jess said no difference. i went under the sun ferr 2 days, and she was under the sun ferr only 2 hrs. she got darker but not me! hmph!!
updates of this week:

monday:: school as usual. then went to kk hospital to visit my dad's mom, my ahma. the news freaked us out. hahas.. she's still looking the same. but she has to removed her womb [what my mom said]. althou she doesnt really needs it already, but.. what i mean is that.. what's a woman without her womb?!?!hais.. she got discharged last night already.
then at ard 2am, i went to tj pgar to take over my fren's shift. she cant work that night, so i helped her out ferr 1 night. its my 1st working thr, tiring man. hahas.. i wanted to look ferr mag, cos i rembered her wrking ard that area too. but i've got no time to call her. so.. lala..
hmmm... i helped out ferr awhile only. then stayed on to wait ferr my other frens to clean up, then i went to my fren's house to bathe n all. luckily, i've got a top at her house, but no bottoms, hers arent my size, doesnt fit me at all. so i rushed home to grab a pants then proceeded to school.

tuesday:: school again. then went to pharmacy to buy so many many things. then went home and met my dearest dad on the way. then down again with melissa to buy her stuffs that she needed ferr her F&N practical. lucks girl. hehex..
hmmm.. then we rushed to the hospital to visit my ahma again, but she discharged str afr her operation. we thot what happened when we saw someone else on her bed. hahas.. we looked so retards then. so we went to simei, my aunt bought us bags. but not the kind that i will use, but thanks anyways..
i'm telling u guys, i taught elicia, my baby cousin, to shake her head n body n bum. hahas.. now she's doing it once too often already. hahas.. what to do? its all under the influence of her cute cousin. hahas..

wed:: now, i'm in lab typing this. muahahas.. lessons, till laters!

wouldyoujazzwithmeat
9:21 AM

lets see.. i went ferr dinner at amk last night. its at a coffee shop, but bloody lot of people and the food is so expensive,.. i think so?? hahas.. anyways, luckily my mom made reservations days ago. hmmm... i thot it was supposed to be a birthday dinner ferr my ahmama.. hahas.. but its not.
i rembered her bday's on 1 may, mother's day. so when they told me that ytd, sat was a dinner celebration ferr her, i was thinking.. whoa.. so early. hahas.. so it isnt a celebration ferr her yet. its some other days. hahas.. hmmm..

today: woke up at that lovely time of 5 am, actually i napped ferr 1 hr then woke up. hahas.. then i'm at simei, my godma's house, updating now using my laptop. yuppps yupps... i'm so so so full. i ate a bowl of porridge then wanton noodles then porridge again. hahas..

i love my godparents ahmama aunties n uncles n dad. muacks muacks! love love.

ooh.. before i forget, i heard that he has got a girlfriend of 2 weeks or 2 yrs[cos i dont know how to listen dialect.] hahas.. ya. i wish him luck anyways. :)

wouldyoujazzwithmeat
9:51 AM

FEAR:
[x] the dark
[ ] staying single
[ ] getting married
[ ] being a parent
[ ] giving birth
[ ] being myself in front of others
[x] open spaces
[x] closed spaces
[x] heights(only for certain places)
[x] cats
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[x] spiders and/or other insects
[x] driving or being in cars(only driving-cos i know i'll hurt so many others in the process)
[ ] flying
[ ] being put to sleep
[ ] flowers or other plants
[x] being touched
[x] fire
[ ] water
[ ] the ocean
[ ] pools
[x] failure
[ ] success
[ ] germs
[x] thunder/lightning
[x] frogs/toads
[x] mice/rats
[ ] jumping from high places
[ ] snow
[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[x] cemeteries
[x] clowns
[x] large crowds
[ ] demons or evil
[ ] crossing bridges
[ ] death
[ ] Hell
[ ] Heaven
[x] being robbed(just as long as they dont hurt me) :)
[x] being sexually assulted
[x] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibility
[ ] doctors, including dentists
[ ] tornadoes
[ ] hurricanes
[ ] being punished
[x] diseases, including cancer and STD's
[x] snakes
[x] sharks
[ ] dinosaurs
[ ] Friday the 13th
[x] poverty
[x] ghosts
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains or railroads
[ ] fear
[x] being alone(but there are times when i need to be alone to sort out the many thots)
[x] losing my friends
[x] being blind to things
[x] being deaf
[x] growing up
[ ] being murdered in my sleep

wouldyoujazzwithmeat
5:07 PM

hahas.. how can i ever miss that icon to upload pics?!?! hahas.. i'v been tryin to upload pics ferr quite sometime. but was never able to. but now fish taught me. hahas.. sotong me. tsk.
its was quite nice ytd at jill's birthday. but i ate so very little. hahas.. den reached home quite so early that my mom was so so so so surprised. hahas.. hmmm.. it was quite the 1st since so long time ago that i slept till 11 plus like today. hahas.. nice nice..
hmmm... so many things have happened between mel n amanda. i must catch up with amanda when i have the time. we seemed so so so so distant that its biting into my heart already. hais hais.
today's jill's official birthday. happy birthday once again. hahas.. smile always! :)

n i'm goin ferr my ahmama's birthday celebration today.. happy birthday too!! love her to bits!

eeekkk!!! mine's coming soon!! i'm getting old. OLD. OLD!! i dont want! sobs.. off to bath. laters!


p.s: i wanna watch take the lead with the right company! date me!

wouldyoujazzwithmeat
12:35 PM

happy birthday jill!

hmmm... i'm meeting sheralyn later to buy jill's present, then meeting fish then off to jill's hus. hmmm.. hmmm... so many people's birthday.. money gone gone. hahas.. its like i'm getting rich-er but money spending like.. whooshh.. water.. hahas..

okies. off to bath. laters.

wouldyoujazzwithmeat
11:01 AM

just finished bathing. hais. i'm feeling so fcukling fcuked up now. i'm still thinking how cason knows abt it? i mean i think jessica n i r the only ones who know abt e melvin's stuff. so how cason knows a single fcukling shit? i'm so seriously disliking him more. .. he's making me feel so guilty now, cos it must be me who said anything abt melvin n jess, it surely cant be her. but..??
did i??

thanks, my sore throat's back.

wouldyoujazzwithmeat
4:06 AM

sling bags.. i see that its back to secondary school days.. whooosh... hahas..
hmmm.. feeling so tired now. i think i've to wake up at 5 am ferr 3 times/week ferr this whole semester. i seriously wondered how i managed secondary sch when i had to wake up at that time everyday. hahas.. but i went to sch mostly by cab la. hahas.. but the thing is.. my body alarm has been altered to sleepin at 6am. so how?? popping sleeping pills isnt a good idea. hmph. hmph. think n tell me solutions..
til laters.

wouldyoujazzwithmeat
6:53 PM

now having e-learning. at last.. school's reopen. lalalalas..
but i m still at holiday mood.
hmmm.. i jus rembered abt the last fri, good fri's, incident. hahas..
i was with sheralyn at accidental portrait buying a top. then we got a 20cents discount. hahas.. rather not say, cos its kinda paiseh ferr me. hahas.. but its not bcos we don have enough cash. hahas..
anyways, my leg's hurting.. its injured again, afr some much intense training and ytd i did the tiptoe-ing to avoid water puddles, that's when it got worse. hahas..

till laters!

wouldyoujazzwithmeat
3:20 PM

i've never thot that i'll ever get the feeling of being left out or what.
now, i felt it. being redundant.
so i'm just a nothing. thanks.
my usual words: give me some time, i'll try to get used to it.
btw: spare me from your pity-ness, i need no such thing.

wouldyoujazzwithmeat
5:31 AM

hmmm... alot of things happened since last night. nvm. i was a wreck, but i'm out of it already.
my phone actually couldnt be switched on. but i open it, did sth here n there. tadada.. its on!!
but i cant push the button, damn. nvm. alanda's magical fingers to the rescue! n.... lalalalala.. its working!! but with a little screwed up la. what to expect? it went beer bathing. i'm so lucky that all pics n msges are stil there. but there's sth wrong with the screen n the up down button.
when i push up, its up. however, when i push down, its up. but when i'm lucky, its all perfectly fine. hahas.. still.. happy happy. n james actually replied me this morning. hahas.. its weirdly funny. anyways. i'm fine. yupps..
hais.. till later.

wouldyoujazzwithmeat
12:51 PM

i can only say, those ppl. okie fine. me, i m lousy.
i m a loser who can relate to no one but only ended up. to james yet again. i jus sent him a msg on friendster. n i m regreting alittle now.
i hate guys. i truly do. all the same. only ferr stanley n james n john matts.
all others said they could tolerate my klutz-ness, stupid-ness, retardee-ness, and all faults and all. they mentioned abt never asking me to change, cos i m jus the way i m.
ended up.. ? asking me, hoping that i will b more mature, get rid of klutz-ness, stupid-ness, retardee-ness, and all faults. its okies if its all ood ferr me, but dont expect much frm me!!
e more u push me, e more i fight back n go against ur wishes, dont ever blame it on me. if u cant accept e way i m, show urself the way out. i dont need u.
i hate it when they make me reliant on them den wants sth in return. cos i know i would not n cant change. how to change my clumsy-ness? by being more focus? i m already as a matter a fact focusing with my full point attention. i hate the part of suddenly alone again. its always like tt. pickin myself up again n again. its tiring.
so please ppl. stop doing this to me, if u know u cant tolerate me, just get lost.

wouldyoujazzwithmeat
3:00 AM

my nokia best friend, passed away. all bcos of her dumb ass fren, me.
hais.. i shouldnt even drink. i mean.. i didn drink yet at all. even if i did, its only beer ferr nuts sake, who would get drunk?
i just poured beer, into a big cup. just as i was going to place it on the table, my bestfriend dropped into it!! damn damn. i lost all contacts [ cos i saved all in phone memory not sim, dumbo me ]
pics gone too. and messages. all gone. those only only memorable sweet msges, all gone. phoof, just like that, just bcos of that idiotic beer. I HATE U!
my only comfort are all gone.

wouldyoujazzwithmeat
1:43 AM

i really truly hate that witch, she could just drop dead.

wouldyoujazzwithmeat
8:18 AM

i hate that woman!

wouldyoujazzwithmeat
5:24 AM

so many days have passed. i got new things, new news, happiness, upsets. so many so many that i so wanna share with him.
but,.. alas.. perserve.. i need to get lose, i dont want to be too used to him.
*shrugs.

these few nights had been spent at home. its bored bored bored,... and more boredom.

off to dinner, what a spoiler. hais. later.

wouldyoujazzwithmeat
9:18 PM

anways, i'm doin mask now, from shiseido. i'm lovin it. muacks. ahahas..

hais. hais. bored. bored. i'm missing life. hmph. hahahs..

laters!

wouldyoujazzwithmeat
10:12 AM

this entry is specially dedicated to Benjamin Yong... yong rights??
hahas.. THANK YOU!!
:)

wouldyoujazzwithmeat
10:05 AM

headache headache already, got under the rain ytd. hmph hmph.
anyways, i went to raffles ytd to help the bitch pay her car stuff. i've got lost there ferr 2 hrs! 2 hrs! i was alone as that idiotic-al guy, hmph. forget abt him.
but glad that sheralyn n ben chatted with me on the phone to keep me company, or else, u'll see someone crying at raffles place. hahas.. thanks thanks.. hmmm... i kept walking to fullerton. hahas.. the one only place i know how to get to from raffles, is fullerton.
but i was such a klutz ytd, even the security guards at the lobby of the tung centre n at the office came n talk to me, they thot i looked lost n all, n made me laughed. wells.. i WAS lost before i found the tung centre. hahas..

afr that i went home to bathe, cos i got drenched, then waited ferr shijia to come home, then i went to meet maggie, its the 1st ferr me to be earlier than her. ahahs.. i've got quite afew stuffs, she commented that i've became more street style, ermms.. no comments there. hahas.. then her fren came. hmph. we ate mos instead of LGS. hmph. mos isnt at all a single bit filling, so by the time i reached home, i finished up all the rice. wells, nth much. till later!

ps. 1. i think i saw robin, the irritating guy, at raffles.
2. i hate the bitch.

wouldyoujazzwithmeat
2:48 AM

i know. i know. this is like my 3rd blog already.
i've a good reason and also because that i just dont wish to change the blog skins of the previous ones, so i'll just create another. dont say anything about it to me then. :)
anyways, i'm up and awake early today, to go the this Tung centre to help my mom pay for her car stuffs. i "had" a ride, till my ride says he's having hangover. lousy guy. so i'm looking for the map now.
then i'll come home, change n all, then meeting maggie, i miss her lotslots!! omg, i'm so gonna see her in a few hours. can't wait! agrr. hahas.. <3

laters!

wouldyoujazzwithmeat
7:16 AM

:(
its just how amazing things can just change so fast. so fast that its just spinning me dizzy. now, everything just stopped, and return to the way it was. its too sudden, so i need time to piece everything together.
here's everything in short bulleted points:

• decided to mia, cos i just cant seem to get the reason of my decision across, so i'm gonna get away from the lollipop clique. again, yes i know. hope that shawn knows what he's doing, hope shir's and will be happy, now and in future. she's a very nice sweet girl.
• my parents, done and over with, if she would just shut up already.
• sore throat's back.

i'm still loving my best good friends and lollipop clique.

ps. please relink, sorry for the trouble. :)

wouldyoujazzwithmeat
2:57 PM